Dear EMOTIONAL CREATURE:
I believe in you. I believe in your authenticity, your uniqueness, your intensity, your wildness. I love the way you dye your hair purple, or hike up your short skirt, or blare your music while you lip-synch every single memorized lyric. I love your restlessness and your hunger. You possess the energy that, if unleashed, could transform, inspire, and heal the world.
Everyone seems to have a certain way they want you to be- your mother, father, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, boyfriends, fashion gurus, celebrities, girlfriends. in reporting my new book, I learned a very disturbing statistic: 74 percent of young women say they are under pressure to please everyone.
I have done a lot of thinking about what it means to please; to be the wish or will of somebody other than yourself. To please the fashion setters, we starve ourselves. To please men, we push ourselves when we aren't ready. To please our parents, we become insane over-achievers. if you are trying to please, how do you take responsibility for your own needs? How do you even know what your own needs are? The act of pleasing makes everything murky. We lose track of ourselves. WE stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives. We forget what we know. We make everything OK rather than real.
I have had the good fortune to travel around the world. Everywhere I meet teenage girls and women giggling, laughing as they walk country roads or hang out on city streets. Electric girls. I see how their lives get hijacked, how their opinions and desires get denied and undone. So many of the women I have met are still struggling late into their lives to know their desires, to find their way.
Instead of trying to please, this is a challenge to provoke, to dare, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. Listen to the voice inside you that might want something different. It's a call to your original self, to move at your own speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color.
When I was your age, I didn't know how to live as an emotional creature. I felt like an alien. I still do a lot of the time. I am older now. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be OK with being different, with being this alive, this intense. I just don't want you to have to wait that long.
Love,
Eve Ensler
Being different is not the problem, it is the solution. Reading this Introduction to Eve Ensler's I am an Emotional Creature, made me proud to be a women and proud to be my own self. It injects into you a fresh supply of confidence that momentarily makes you feel as though the world is not to far from your grasp.
Leah, let's be serious. Men > Women.
ReplyDeleteConor, I'm not sure if that time is right; but if it is, why were you up at 5:33 am posting on some feminist's blog?
ReplyDeleteAnd to Leah, do not be fooled. Women need men just as much as men need women. In fact, recent history shows a decline in the need for women, at least in a reproductive sense. I'm sure you watch Oprah. Ever heard of the pregnant man? Just saying....
DISCLAIMER: This post was meant as a joke and nothing more. I am not a sexist pig. I'll leave that title to Conor Pennell.
I'm not sexist. Their is an obvious tone of sarcasm in my comment. But i could make the argument that women need men just as much. I don't agree with sexism, which really includes feminism. Feminism is sexism. So where your article makes sense, because no one will argue that we need girls to create humanity, the man and the woman are codependent on each other, it isn't just a one sided matter. You obviously need the man as well.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe Leah is arguing that the woman is the dominant sex. I think she is just stating that women have gotten the raw end of the deal of the years in regards to jobs, salaries, suffrage, etc. And I don't think one can argue with this statement either.
ReplyDeleteJimmy is incorrect in saying that he is not a sexist pig(I'm just kidding Jimmy). However, it is correct when he says that this blog is not meant to argue hat women are the dominant sex. It is to educate the Western part of the world with stories and fact from the other side. The side where women do not have equal rights with the male sex and in some cases have no rights at all. Hopefully the two of you will learn something useful.
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